Tell Me A Story: NEVER WORRY ABOUT GROWING OLD

Mary Marcia
America's STORYTELLER
Telling Untold Stories in Photographs, Prose and Public Speaking

I'm a girl with 60 years experience, and lines across my face.

The song, The Story, is one of my favorites.

"All of these lines across my face,

tell you the story of who I am...

so many stories of where I've been,

and how I got to where I am..."

Listen to the song: The Story

CLICK on the link or COPY & PASTE the link in your browser:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h5c4ARb5ORw

I never worry about getting old.

Because I discovered God tucks a gift inside each year of life. It's an exciting adventure!

Lady Mary Wortley Montagu once feared growing old until she made a similar discovery.

“It was formerly a terrifying view to me

that I should one day be an old woman.

I now find that Nature

has provided pleasure for every state.”

Lady Mary Wortley Montagu

(1689 – 1762)

An English aristocrat and writer who is chiefly remembered for her letters,

particularly her letters from Turkey, as wife to the British ambassador.

The letters have been described as the very first example

of a secular work by a woman about the Muslim Orient.

Mary Worley Montagu Images:

CLICK on the link or COPY & PASTE the link in your browser:

http://images.search.yahoo.com/search/images;_ylt=A0oG7mBNe9VS_g4AzmxXNyoA;_ylu=X3oDMTB0b3NqMHNzBHNlYwNzYwRjb2xvA2FjMgR2dGlkA1ZJUDMyMl8x?_adv_prop=image&fr=mcafee&va=Mary+Worley+Montagu

I like this woman.

Here are more quotes from Lady Mary Wortley Montagu:

“I prefer liberty to chains of diamonds.”

“Be plain in dress, and sober in your diet;

In short, my deary! Kiss me, and be quiet.”

“No entertainment is so cheap as reading,

nor any pleasure so lasting.”

“Civility costs nothing and buys everything.”

“Prudent people are very happy;

'tis an exceeding fine thing, that's certain,

but I was born without it,

and shall retain to my day of Death

the Humour of saying what I think.”

“While conscience is our friend,

all is at peace;

however once it is offended,

farewell to a tranquil mind.”

“Remember my unalterable maxim,

"When we love,

we always have something to say.”

“A man that is ashamed of passions

that are natural and reasonable

is generally proud of those

that are shameful and silly.”

Lady Mary Wortley Montagu

I've learned a lot from older women, and I'm still learning.

I asked one of my heroes, Lisa Diesel,
(Disciple/Sniper/Wife/Mother)
for advise when my daughter, Faith,
had a ring stuck on her finger.

Lisa knew just what to do.

Lisa helped me on several occasions.

Now I get to share her advice with you!

Lisa Diesel:

"I have three boys and two girls,

and they've done so many things -

that's how I learned what works.

Now...

This is what you do..."

1. To Remove A Ring Stuck on Finger: Stick your finger in your mouth to wet it. Rub the wet finger around ring, and then blow on it with your hot hot breath. Twist it around, and it will come right off. (It sure worked on Faith's ring!)

2. Vinegar Detox: Drink too much? Mix 2 Teaspoons full of Apple Cider Vinegar, 2 Teaspoons of Pickle Juice, one raw egg, and swirl together. Make sure the egg is stirred up. Drink it. Of course, it makes them vomit. It's a great detox.

3. How To Remove Shoes From Power Lines: Before it happens...here's a Preventative Measure: Put aluminum foil on the ends/tips of the shoelaces. If shoes are thrown on the power lines - the aluminum foil will set the shoe laces on fire, and they fall from the wire...or it will burn the entire shoe. Most of the time it will burn the laces and the shoes will drop.

4. Vinegar Carpet Cleaner: Squirt Dawn Liquid until it bubbles in pan of hot water on the stove. Then add 10 Teaspoons of ACV (Apple Cider Vinegar) and BOIL it. Dip scrubber in liquid to clean carpets.

5. Normalize Bowel Function: Take 1 teaspoon ACV (Apple Cider Vinegar) by mouth. It will stop you or start you. It normalizes bowel function.

5. Window & Appliance Cleaner: 1/2 Gallon ACV (Apple Cider Vinegar) into bowl, plus a little water. Use a wash rag to clean windows, appliances (even stainless steel), and ceramic cook-tops.

6. How to Stop Children Who Misbehave in

the Store: Children are little, and often won't be good in the store. They argue and poke each other. Set rules down first - before you unbuckle them from the car seat. Look them straight in the eye and say: "I will show you the store's surveillance camera. The Easter Bunny and Santa Claus watch you from those cameras at all times. If you misbehave...they will know it. Have you heard about Bobby? The Easter Bunny saw Bobby, and came down and took him away. He was never heard from again."

7. How to Unplug the Teens: Teenagers listen to music devices....and don't pay attention. Mine have run into shelves. This is what you do: Tell them to leave phones in the car. It's safer for you and them. Parents keep the phone.

8. When children won't wake up in the morning: You could yell at them like most people do. I don't yell. I go into their room and spread melted cheese on their feet. Then I carry them outside. The cows lick their feet. Imagine! The first thing you see in the morning is cows licking your feet! It worked with my boys.

My girls were stubborn and persistent.

I told them: "Your boyfriend called, and he said he was going to be here in three minutes." That worked a few times. I always came up with new ones.

Once I bought a blow-horn, and had Vinny blow it. I turned up their alarm clock as loud and long as it goes, and leave it. Or I drag their butts out of bed, and stick them in the shower and turn on the cold water.

9. For Coughs and Cold Symptoms: Get in a bathtub with warm water. Mix 3 Teaspoons of Vicks Vaporub into the warm bath water you are sitting in. Make the water as hot as possible. Sit in there for a while. Rub in Vicks on your chest and the bottom of feet at night.

10. Food When You Have A Cold: Forget about chicken soup - you need something hotter...like Texas Chili. Four Alarm Chili - not normal chili. Get 100% beef, and 4 teaspoons of crushed Habanero and two Ghost Peppers. Or milder version in Jalapenos.

11. Laundry: Never let your husband do the laundry, or your children...unless you teach them. Talk them through it like driving. Never mix a fluffy coat with silk. It will get on the silk or polyester and it won't get off. STAIN REMOVER: Add 4 teaspoons Arm & Hammer Baking soda and Mix it into detergent. Use Buckets for laundry separation. Each of my children had 3 baskets: one for jeans, one for whites, and one for colors. I used wooden buckets with a lid that stacked. Put them in the corner, or under a bed.

12. Pet Training: Do NOT use squeaker. I hate that. Would you like a squeaker in your face? Use all-natural food: either raspberries or cranberries (good for heart & bowels) or give them one blueberry...as a reward. Show them what to do, and normally they will do it.

13. Child's Stubborn Streak (Toddler or Small Child): What to do with child who pouts and sits with arms crossed: I do one of two things. 1) Ignore it - let her sit and she may eventually give up. OR 2) Pick her up and carry her around in her frozen position. It makes her so mad. Eventually - she will give up and you win. Don't give her reward - don't bribe her...just carry her around.

14. How To Get everyone to the Table When Food is Ready: I tell eveyone: "Supper will be on the table at exactly 5:30 PM. I won't make an extra plate for you or keep one for you. I can't guarantee there will be any food left. If you don't want to eat - no snacks until morning. No junk eating - you will wait until breakfast."

Most of the time my children came. My daughters often talked on the phone, and took forever to come eat. By the time they finished talking, we were finished eating.

I said: "Sorry. You didn't come."

They sneaked into the kitchen. I sent them back to bed.

15. Clean Up After Kids, Dogs, Poop: Buy or collect LOTS of pine cones. Keep a sack in every room - out of sight. Switch them out and replace with new pine cones every month. Keep in every room or it won't work.

16. Recycle Newspapers: Wash windows with newspapers instead of paper towels.

17. Messy Car? This is what you do. When you have warned them, and children make a big mess in the car and they continue to leave their junk in the car: take their mess from the car and put it in their room. They will get the idea.

18. Prevent Children's Tantrums At the Check-Out Counter: Bring candy or cheese or a treat from home, and let them hold it in the store. Or take them to the dollar aisle, and let them each pick out one or two, and let them hold it and carry it around. Get their own little bag. They already have something in their hands, and they don't have to focus on the stuff at the counter.

19. Feeling weak or tired from cold? Get a teaspoon, and put put a little bit of pure vanilla extract plus honey. Stir it up - and swallow it. It will give you natural energy. And it tastes good.

20. Dry Skin? I love Baby Lotion. Mix Baby Lotion and Vaseline Petroleum Jelly (or Mary Kay Night Cream) together.
apply it to dry places like elbows....and cover with plastic wrap. By morning - it's the softest thing. Use at least twice a week. You will see a dramatic improvement. Vaseline Petroleum Jelly,

21. Weight Loss: Rub cream (of your choice) preferably cream with pepper extract in it where you want to lose. Wrap area with aluminum foil or plastic wrap and wear it all day long. You will Sweat!

22. Benefits of Gardening Naked: You came from the ground. Come on. What other way can you garden? If you garden naked - you can feel the air in certain places. Why do you need clothes when you are outside? Go outside and blow the stink off of you. Why get your clothes dirty? First: Make sure you don't sit on anything wierd. Watch out for pokey tulip bulbs. I know from experience. Always look before you sit. Check laws. Texas law says that I'm allowed to do anything on my land that I want to. No public nudity apparently here in Kansas City area.

23. For Shoes That Smell Bad: This is what you do....You take a squirt of perfume and spray inside bad -smelling shoes and put foil on top - and close it up overnight. Bam! It smells nice the next day.

24. Clean Your Closet About Once A Month. Something Doesn't Fit? Give them away! Haven't worn something in the past 4 months? Give them away! Find Something Sentimental? Put it in a box. Keep only one box for sentimental things. Keep throwing things away or giving things away.

25. Heal Scars & Scabs: Lemon juice is a good scab healer. Put Lemon juice on finger, and put on sore before it heals. It will prevent scaring. Then put on a bandaid.

26. Dryer sheets & Clothespins: Poke a hole in a dryer sheet, and hang it on the neck of every hanger. It keeps my shirts and clothes fresh. I also add Scented Clothespins to clothes and shoes. (To make scented clothespins - put wood clothespins in glass jars with lids and add essential oil. Close lid tight. Oils are absorbed into the wood clothespins, and then the clothespins can be put in drawers, closets and shoes.)