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Friday, August 26, 2016

MOTHER OF THE GROOM

Mary Marcia
America's STORYTELLER
Telling Untold Stories in Photographs, Prose and Public Speaking


LINK:  http://tellmeastory-marcia.blogspot.com/2016/08/mother-of-groom.html
 




MOTHER OF THE GROOM
A True Story

Copyright 1997 Marcia Norwood




“I’m not a master gardener,  
but I am wiser for the time I have spent in my garden.   
I’ve discovered 
it takes something more than human hands 
to create a beautiful garden.   
It's a partnership 
with the Creator of the Universe.  
Cultivating a friendship is a partnership, too, 
of giving and receiving. “


Mary Marcia Lee Norwood




Antique Missouri Military Wagon in the Norwood Gardens


My role as Mother of the Bride was much easier than my role as Mother of the Groom.  I’ve been both and lived to tell about it…barely. Our daughter, Kristin, was married at our church.  I prepared all the floral bouquets and arrangements, made the punch, baked 500 mini-blueberry muffins, created the wedding programs, decorated the church fellowship hall for the reception, and for the most part acted as wedding coordinator.

Piece of Cake.

Four years later, our son, Benjamin, was married in our rose garden. My husband, Ed, and I worked hard to make the gardens around our Colonial home “picture-perfect.”   Benjamin and Ed designed and built a Victorian gazebo for the wedding ceremony.    Construction halted when Ed stepped on a nail causing a puncture wound that refused to heal.   Ed was back at work after surgery and a brief hospital stay, sporting crutches and swallowing  pain medication, and meds to cure the staff infection.
 
Norwood Front Gardens: Two Tiny Ponds,  Pergola with Swing, Picket Fence, Gazebo


Spring sprang at the Norwood Gardens.   Blossoms of butter-yellow forsythia; fluffy, Cool-Whip-white and pink-lemonade crabapple; and brilliant, iridescent pink-icing  redwood trees  lined our hundred foot driveway. 

Crabapple Tree
  Stately  wintergreen boxwood marched along one side the rose parade.  The fragrance of  blood-red, Don Juan roses was intoxicating.  Birdies bathed unashamedly on the front lawn.  Their shower-songs were accompanied by chirping crickets and croaking frogs sunbathing on stone ledges of two tiny, bubbling  ponds.    Butterflies fluttered to and fro.  

A robin bathes unashamedly on the front lawn
 
Two Tiny Bubbling Ponds
The slightest breeze stirred the heady perfume of lavender wisteria blooms as they fell gently from their perch on the overhead pergola.   

Wisteria
Fire-engine-red and school-bus-yellow tulips stood guard along the thirty foot sidewalk to our front door. 

Tulips
 Periwinkle blue vinca made their way between hot pink and lipstick-red azaleas and fuchsia rhododendrons on both sides of the white picket fence.  Sweet, peach honeysuckle vines and golden-yellow roses climbed the white-washed gazebo.    Tiny faces of pansies in multicultural shades of yellow, white, lavender and purple peeked out between the parsley and chives.  

Honeysuckle Vines
It was my heart’s desire to dazzle and delight members of the wedding party, and properly pamper the wedding guests, who were our closest friends and family.   Each guest had their own throne:  an ornate, white, Victorian garden chair.   


Preparations took their toll on my body.  I stooped from hours of dead-heading petals,  and lifting big rocks to find their rightful place in the garden.    My arms and hands were scratched from thorns and thistles.   My once-manicured nails were clipped (accidentally) with a pair of pruning shears.    My hands were rough and calloused.   I was covered from head to toe with poison oak, ivy and sumac.  

I exchanged my favorite perfume, Shalimar ™, and my Mary-Kay ™  make-up for Oak-N-Ivy CalaGel ™, Tecnu™,  and Calamine Lotion.    I gained ten pounds for every dose of steroids I swallowed to get rid of the poison, oak, ivy and sumac.  Let's see . . . four doses that year, and by the time the wisteria covered the entire pergola . . . I was too heavy to sit in the porch swing.  


I was still outside about one o’clock a.m. the morning of the wedding . . . watering the roses.  I slipped and fell – unable to get up.  My left knee was smashed and turned the wrong way UNDERNEATH me.  I didn’t move for twenty minutes…while the water from the garden hose continued to flow.  

All I could think about was “NOW – How am I going to finish wallpapering the guest bathroom before the wedding?” which was only hours away.

Ed was inside the house – asleep on the sofa, to avoid taking the stairs to our master bedroom on the second floor.  Somehow I managed to pull myself up out of the mud and thorns and crawled into the house. 
   



I woke up Ed.  He hobbled on his crutches to shut off the water.  We were both too tired to go to the Emergency Room.   Ed slept on the couch, and I slept beside him on the floor.  A couple of hours later I wiped off the dried mud.  Ed dropped me off at the ER and went on his way to take care of last-minute wedding errands. It's amazing how fast the Emergency Room will work you through when you tell them 100-plus guests are due at your home in a few hours for a wedding.  

Ed called for reinforcements.  The very friends and family we wanted to lavish our love on…came to our rescue.  My dearest friend, Janice Christopher, picked me up from the ER; brought me home; and stayed to help.  Along with Janice, my sister-in-laws: Lisa and Gail Bush and special friends Cheryl Mullis and  Alicia Hoff saved the day!  There would have been no wedding without them. 

Ed and I were both strung out on pain pills.  I sat in the middle of the floor of my kitchen giving orders.  The “Steel Magnolias” pretty much ignored me and did as they pleased.  The guest bathroom on the main floor of our home did get wallpapered after all, and with grateful hearts - we even made Janice's macho-husband, Dale, an “Honorary Steel Magnolia" for his help in cleaning and decorating!  

Dale and Janice Christopher

All in all it was quite a wedding day.  Ed looked so handsome in his tails and splints and crutches.  Under my full-length gown one could barely see the lines of my cast/immobilizer that ran from my crotch to my toes.  Glassy-eyed from pain medication - not tears, Ed and I limped along through the gazebo, down the stairs and joined the wedding guests sitting in beautiful, ornate, white, thrones that covered our soggy but well manicured lawn for this sacred event.  Tables with umbrellas dotted the horizon.  It was surreal -- at least in my mind.
I hardly noticed when the wind velocity picked up and sent one of the umbrellas airborne until it hit the gazebo during the opening song.  It alarmed some of the wedding guests.   Ed and I were undaunted.  The gentleman playing the keyboard was a little shaken - but the soloists, Bill and Jennifer Hildebrand, persevered.   
Things really began to get fun when the two ring bearers, dressed in tails...drove around the back of our two-story Colonial home in their own miniature Jeep decorated for the occasion.  They were followed by the flower girls attired in white lace - driving their own miniature, Barbie convertible. 
After vows and rings were exchanged our beloved pastor, Dr. William O. Poe, gave the closing prayer.  The wedding guests strolled through the gazebo and well-watered rose garden, and filed into our home for the reception.   

Everyone really seemed to enjoy the garden wedding - even the ones not heavily medicated.  

LINK:  http://tellmeastory-marcia.blogspot.com/2016/08/mother-of-groom.html

Thanks for stopping by!

Come back often, and bring a friend!
   



Mary Marcia
America's STORYTELLER
Telling Untold Stories in Photographs, Prose and Public Speaking



Monday, August 8, 2016

WHAT TO DO WHEN WE DISAGREE

Mary Marcia
America's STORYTELLER
Telling Untold Stories in Photographs, Prose and Public Speaking



Link:  http://tellmeastory-marcia.blogspot.com/2016/08/what-to-do-when-we-disagree.html

 WHAT TO DO WHEN WE DISAGREE

Copyright 2007 Marcia Norwood.  CLICK on image to ENLARGE.


Beka Horton, co-founder of A Beka Book and Pensacola Christian College, gave me some advice 30 years ago that has helped me time and time again.  

I had the honor to meet Beka Horton (namesake for A Beka Book),  and attend one of her classes on Christian womanhood at Pensacola Christian College in Pensacola, Florida.  

Mrs. Horton spoke  about employer/employee relations, and what to do when there is a disagreement.  

Let's face it - there are bound to be disagreements in the workplace, at school, and at home. 

We (parents, teachers, directors, leaders, employers, employees, siblings, spouses) are wise to  know what to do when we disagree.  

I memorized Mrs. Horton's advice, and put it into practice.  I've been known to hand out copies of "What To Do When We Disagree" to people who work for me before a disagreement arises.    I've also handed out copies to my own bosses, and others who I've worked with when there is a disagreement.  It serves as a format for our discussions.

It continues to help me, and I hope it will help you.


Copyright 2014 Marcia Norwood.  CLICK on image to ENLARGE.

Let me give you a practical example . . .

I was not yet 30 years old:  a young wife and mother of two children, and director of two child care centers for a Christian school.  My responsibilities included teaching preschool and kindergarten classes and  supervising a staff of teachers: some older and some younger than me.

The building my classroom was in did not offer hot lunches for the students, although the hot lunch program was available for students in the main building.  (That decision was made by the school administration - not by me.)   Sometimes I went to the main building, and brought back a hot lunch for my son, Benjamin, who was in my building.

Edith, a teacher on my staff  - who was old enough to be my mother -  thanked me for sharing "What To Do When We Disagree." She spoke to me gently about offering the choice of hot lunches to all the students in our building.

Honestly,  my plate was full, and I didn't want to add another responsibility to it (let alone start a new hot lunch transportation program) but I listened to Edith because of the way she approached me:  as a LEARNER not a CRUSADER.

I listened. 

Edith suggested the possibility of expanding the hot lunch program to other buildings.  She asked if I had ever noticed the children's faces when I brought my son, Benjamin a  hot lunch.  I loved those students, and promised to pay more attention.

I explained:  
  1. It wasn't my idea not to have hot lunches in our building;  
  2. I didn't have the power to change it; and  
  3. I didn't really want to change it if it meant more work for me.

Edith had several ideas on how to bring hot lunches to our building. We followed Beka Horton's advice, and had a brainstorm session thinking together for creative solutions


We prayed together.

Edith trusted God to bring hot lunches to children in our building.  She NEVER mentioned it to me again.  She didn't pout.  She didn't lead a hot-lunch-crusade and recruit teachers to support her point.  Her attitude toward me was pleasant and respectful.   Edith trusted God to work through her authority:  me - a gal young enough to be her daughter.  

(Ever had a younger boss who you had to teach something to?)

I trusted God not to add another thing for me to do, but the next time I brought a hot lunch to Benjamin, I noticed the faces of the other children.    

Edith was right.  It wasn't fair.   Giving a hot lunch to one student felt like  favoritism.  I had tried so hard NOT to show favoritism...even so far as to ask Ben to call me "Mrs. Norwood" in class - rather than Mom.  (That was one piece of advice I got at Pensacola College that I lived to regret.  Never do that by the way. I hurt my own son.)

It took almost a month.  I met with my boss (using the "What To Do When We Disagree" format).  He met with the powers that be, and we were able to bring hot lunches to all the students in our building.

Thanks to Edith.

Thanks to Beka Horton.

Thanks to God for granting wisdom to those who seek it.


"For the LORD gives wisdom;
from His mouth 
come knowledge and understanding."

Proverbs 2:6
The Holy Bible 
New International Version
 CLICK on the link or COPY & PASTE the link in your browser:
http://biblehub.com/proverbs/2-6.htm



Try it!
Tell me your story.
 Email:  marcia.norwood@sbcglobal.net


What To Do When 
We Disagree


GO as a LEARNERnot a CRUSADER.

LISTEN  to the other person’s position.

EXPLAIN  your position.

BRAINSTORM together for creative alternatives/solutions.
LEAVE it in God’s hands.  
TRUST  God  to work through the person in authority.

  
  Beka Horton, co-founder of A Beka Book and Pensacola Christian College, taught the Bible to children on a Pensacola TV station for over 20 years. Her experience teaching high school students and a ladies' Bible class gave her the ability to help all ages understand the Bible.
CLICK on the link or COPY & PASTE the link in your browser: 
http://www.rejoicemusic.com/Category.aspx?c=342 


Dr. and Mrs. Arlin HortonIn 1954, Dr. Arlin Horton and Beka Horton founded Pensacola Christian Academy. It remains a thriving Christian K-12 school.   God led them to found Pensacola Christian College in 1974.   
 
CLICK on the link or COPY & PASTE the link in your browser: 
http://www.abeka.com/OurFoundation.aspx

 Thanks for stopping by!

Come back often, and invite a friend!


Mary Marcia
America's STORYTELLER
Telling Untold Stories in Photographs, Prose and Public Speaking

 



   
Read more about Conflict Resolution:
CLICK on the link or COPY & PASTE the link in your browser:  
Sep 03, 2013
After all, I've taught classes to adults and children on conflict resolution. I realized after two years of attacks, insults, and property damage that I needed help. I kept a journal, and made the police file reports for each incident ...