TELL ME A STORY

TELL ME A STORY
"Tell your children of it, and let your children tell their children, and their children another generation." Joel 1:3

Saturday, January 20, 2018

THE CRYING CHAIR

Mary Marcia
America's STORYTELLER
Telling Untold Stories in Photographs, Prose and Public Speaking





I wrote a story about my family called The Crying Chair. 



My story was published in 2001, by Adams Media Corporation in the flagship book of their series, A CUP OF COMFORT.  


 CLICK on the link or COPY & PASTE the link in your browser:  
http://www.abebooks.com/CUP-COMFORT-Lady-Blue-Dress-Wish/4644404504/bd 


I maintain the copyright for the story, so I am able to share it with you today.  I made some minor corrections to the story that the editors didn't get quite right in the book.    It happens.  



Both my parents, Natalie and Jewell Bush, were alive when our story was published.  Mom carried the book, A CUP OF COMFORT,  with her to the hospital for her cancer treatments. She proudly showed the story to the doctors and nurses at the hospital and her wonderful hospice nurses who cared for her at home for over one year. 




Mom (Mema) went to Heaven in February 2003.  She left each of our family members Crying Towels that she hand embroidered.   After all - there was only one Crying Chair, and there were many more tears to come.   Dad went to Heaven in July 2003.  




Mema's Hand-Embroidered Crying Towel.  Copyright 2003 Marcia Norwood

Are you in the midst of a storm? 

Are you overwhelmed?

Are you grieving the loss of a loved one, family pet, job or house?

Please give yourself permission to cry.





Psalm 56:8
 You (God) keep track of all my sorrows.
You have collected all my tears in your bottle.
You have recorded each one in your book.



It's good to cry.
It's healthy to cry.


The Health Benefits of Tears
CLICK on the link or COPY & PASTE the link in your browser: 
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/judith-orloff-md/emotional-wellness_b_653754.html
 

 


Here's our story:  The Crying Chair.






 
The Crying Chair....page 16









The Crying Chair



By  Mary Marcia Lee Norwood



Copyright 1999





            Each  chair at Mom and Dad's  kitchen table was spoken for.   As the oldest of four -- I had first pick.  I picked the one directly across from Dad.  Everybody knew it was "Marcia's  chair."  My sister, Gloria, chose her chair next -- followed by my brothers Bret and Terry.  Selections were made in birth order:  first come . . . first served . . . you might say.  Mom didn't sit much.  She was usually up waiting on one of us. 



            Sometimes  I gave up my chair for guests,  and it was known by another name: "The Crying Chair."  Family, friends and neighbors sat in that chair when they needed a good cry, and someone to share their burdens.   To this day folks still come to sit in The Crying Chair at  my parents' house, in Liberty, Missouri.  Folks like Fran and Bob, who  once lived across the street , , , shared coffee, stories and tears at our kitchen table.  They moved from our old neighborhood, but when Bob died, Fran returned to The Crying Chair.



We're a family of natural-born weepers, from my parents, Natalie and Jewell Bush, right on down the line to all four of their children, now grown with little weepers of our own.  Not that our lives have been filled with extraordinary tragedy or that our hearts are filled with sorrow, it's just that crying is comfort for the soul.



Mom said that it was only natural for "Marcia's Chair" to become the official Crying Chair, since I was the most tenderhearted crier in the family.  I put The Crying Chair to good use throughout my life: when my dog, Midnight, died; when Dad was injured in a terrible car accident;  when Dad sang us a song about a little crippled girl; when I watched Superman take a crippled boy on a Super flight on our black-and-white TV; and when my two-year-old brother, Terry, tried to be Superman and jumped from the neighbor's tall slide - which required brain surgery.  Of course, I took to The Crying Chair when a boyfriend broke up with me.

Yet, I was not an unhappy child.  In fact, quite the opposite:  I was very happy. 
The Crying Chair gave me a place to park my emotional baggage, so I could get on with my life.  There were also times when I took to The Crying Chair with tears of joy:  each time my sister, Gloria and I were chosen for the cheerleading squads; when I was crowned Sweetheart Queen; when I left for college; when I came home from college; when I became engaged, and when I became pregnant with each child. 

The Crying Chair worked so well throughout the years -- I decided to borrow the idea for my Kindergarten classroom at a private Christian school where I taught for seven years.  The idea came to me when I was trying to find ways to console one of my Kindergarten students.  He cried uncontrollably each morning when he arrived at school, and several times throughout the day.  His parents were going through a divorce.  This little guy was shifted from one parent to the next, and he never knew who would bring him to school or pick him up. 



            With great pomp and circumstance I announced the arrival of The Crying Chair  in our Kindergarten classroom.  It was just a regular chair that I "named" and moved to an isolated part of our room.  I placed a box of tissues within arm's reach of  The Crying Chair.   The students listened with wide -eyed wonder as I proclaimed the rules for The Crying Chair.  They even added a few of their own.


Rules For The Crying Chair

1.  Teacher:  The Crying Chair is NOT a punishment or time out.
Student:  We won't get in trouble.

2.  Teacher:  Raise your hand and state your need for  The Crying Chair.
 Permission will be granted.
Student:  Ask the teacher first.

3.  Teacher:  All outbursts made while in The Crying Chair 
shall be uttered at a moderate level,
so as not to bother the other students, and
NOT to draw attention to oneself. 
Student:  No screaming.

4.  Teacher:  Length of stay in The Crying Chair is up to the individual; 
however, five-minute intervals are suggested,
which may be extended if necessary.
Student:  Hurry up.  Get it over with.

5.  Teacher:  The Crying Chair is available to both students and teachers.
Student:  Teachers cry, too?

6.  Teacher:  Other students will not be permitted
to harass or make-fun-of anyone in The Crying Chair
Student:  Don't start a fight.

7.  Teacher:  Other students are encouraged to pray for and
show special kindness to the person in The Crying Chair .
Student:  Be nice. Be kind.  Pray.


            The Crying Chair was a special chair.  The students almost had a reverence for it.  The precious  student  who  cried uncontrollably would raise his little hand for permission to sit in The Crying Chair.  Then he would bury his head in his hands, and sob.  My heart ached for him, but  I rejoiced as I watched  other students (of their own choice)  bow their heads in prayer for their classmate.  Some asked for permission to walk over to  The Crying Chair and give him a pat on the back -- or a hug.  Other times a classmate would quietly place a piece of candy for him  on the table beside The Crying Chair. 


After a brief time in the chair  he would dry his eyes, ask for permission to get a drink of water and go to the bathroom before returning  to his regular seat in class.  Not one student teased him about sitting in The Crying Chair.  As his life took on some semblance of order, his trips to the chair became less frequent.  


           The Crying Chair worked so well the two years it was in my classroom, that I wished I had thought to use it the previous five years of my teaching career.  Many students sat in The Crying Chair for different reasons.  It provided a safe place to cry.  It was never used for everyday trials and tribulations of being a child.  It was never used for skinned knees and playground scrapes, or embarrassment over spilled milk or juice, or frustration of a lost field-trip slip...not even for hurt feelings from name-calling.  




       The source of tears was always traumatic when a child came to The Crying Chair:  like the loss of a pet or a grandparent.  For three children who had been abandoned by their mothers, and were being raised by other family members, it provided a soft place to fall, and cry.  One student  strived so hard for perfection in printing letters his entire body shook.  He discovered a little cry in The Crying Chair relaxed him enough to try again.  After being molested by a neighbor, one child sat and sobbed until I thought all our hearts would break.

 

            One particular day,  I felt overwhelmed with the duties of teaching and motherhood and marriage.   I announced to the class that I needed to spend some time in The Crying Chair.  I laid my  head in my hands and cried.  As the tears flowed down my cheeks I felt the touch of many tiny hands as my students walked by and  gently patted me on the back. 
 

            The teacher learned compassion from her students.
           
            The students learned a teacher hurts just like they hurt, and cries just like they cry.



            Both learned  to love each other.

           
 

The Crying Chair



By  Mary Marcia Lee Norwood



Copyright 1999



SIBLINGS!  From Left:  Gloria, Terry, Marcia and Bret.  Copyright 1976 Marcia Norwood












Marcia's Dad, Jewell; Nephew Jeramy, Brothers Terry and Bret.  Copyright 1991 Marcia Norwood








Marcia's Parents:  Jewell and Natalie with their grandchildren and great-grandchildren:  Megan, Lacey, Taylor, Conner, Sarah ZK and Joshua.  Copyright 1999 Marcia Norwood.



 

 Thanks for stopping by!

Come back often, and invite a friend!

 
 






Mary Marcia
America's STORYTELLER
Telling Untold Stories in Photographs, Prose and Public Speaking








 

 

Friday, January 19, 2018

WHAT TO DO WHEN WE DISAGREE

Mary Marcia
America's STORYTELLER
Telling Untold Stories in Photographs, Prose and Public Speaking






 WHAT TO DO WHEN WE DISAGREE

Copyright 2007 Marcia Norwood.  CLICK on image to ENLARGE.




Beka Horton, co-founder of A Beka Book and Pensacola Christian College, gave me some advice 30 years ago that has helped me time and time again.  

I had the honor to meet Beka Horton (namesake for A Beka Book),  and attend one of her classes on Christian womanhood at Pensacola Christian College in Pensacola, Florida.  

Mrs. Horton spoke  about employer/employee relations, and what to do when there is a disagreement.  

Let's face it - there are bound to be disagreements in the workplace, at school, and at home. 

We (parents, teachers, directors, leaders, employers, employees, siblings, spouses) are wise to  know what to do when we disagree.  

I memorized Mrs. Horton's advice, and put it into practice.  I've been known to hand out copies of "What To Do When We Disagree" to people who work for me before a disagreement arises.    I've also handed out copies to my own bosses, and others who I've worked with when there is a disagreement.  It serves as a format for our discussions.

It continues to help me, and I hope it will help you.



Copyright 2014 Marcia Norwood.  CLICK on image to ENLARGE.

Let me give you a practical example . . .



I was not yet 30 years old:  a young wife and mother of two children, and director of two child care centers for a Christian school.  My responsibilities included teaching preschool and kindergarten classes and  supervising a staff of teachers: some older and some younger than me.



The building my classroom was in did not offer hot lunches for the students, although the hot lunch program was available for students in the main building.  (That decision was made by the school administration - not by me.)   Sometimes I went to the main building, and brought back a hot lunch for my son, Benjamin, who was in my building.



Edith, a teacher on my staff  - who was old enough to be my mother -  thanked me for sharing "What To Do When We Disagree." She spoke to me gently about offering the choice of hot lunches to all the students in our building.



Honestly,  my plate was full, and I didn't want to add another responsibility to it (let alone start a new hot lunch transportation program) but I listened to Edith because of the way she approached me:  as a LEARNER not a CRUSADER.



I listened. 



Edith suggested the possibility of expanding the hot lunch program to other buildings.  She asked if I had ever noticed the children's faces when I brought my son, Benjamin a  hot lunch.  I loved those students, and promised to pay more attention.



I explained:  
  1. It wasn't my idea not to have hot lunches in our building;  
  2. I didn't have the power to change it; and  
  3. I didn't really want to change it if it meant more work for me.

Edith had several ideas on how to bring hot lunches to our building. We followed Beka Horton's advice, and had a brainstorm session thinking together for creative solutions. 
 


We prayed together.



Edith trusted God to bring hot lunches to children in our building.  She NEVER mentioned it to me again.  She didn't pout.  She didn't lead a hot-lunch-crusade and recruit teachers to support her point.  Her attitude toward me was pleasant and respectful.   Edith trusted God to work through her authority:  me - a gal young enough to be her daughter.  



(Ever had a younger boss who you had to teach something to?)

I trusted God not to add another thing for me to do, but the next time I brought a hot lunch to Benjamin, I noticed the faces of the other children.    



Edith was right.  It wasn't fair.   Giving a hot lunch to one student felt like  favoritism.  I had tried so hard NOT to show favoritism...even so far as to ask Ben to call me "Mrs. Norwood" in class - rather than Mom.  (That was one piece of advice I got at Pensacola College that I lived to regret.  Never do that by the way. I hurt my own son.)

It took almost a month.  I met with my boss (using the "What To Do When We Disagree" format).  He met with the powers that be, and we were able to bring hot lunches to all the students in our building.

Thanks to Edith.

Thanks to Beka Horton.

Thanks to God for granting wisdom to those who seek it.


"For the LORD gives wisdom;
from His mouth 
come knowledge and understanding."

Proverbs 2:6
The Holy Bible 
New International Version
 CLICK on the link or COPY & PASTE the link in your browser:









What To Do When 
We Disagree


GO as a LEARNER…not a CRUSADER.

LISTEN  to the other person’s position.

EXPLAIN  your position.

BRAINSTORM together for creative alternatives/solutions.
LEAVE it in God’s hands.  
TRUST  God  to work through the person in authority.

  


  Beka Horton, co-founder of A Beka Book and Pensacola Christian College, taught the Bible to children on a Pensacola TV station for over 20 years. Her experience teaching high school students and a ladies' Bible class gave her the ability to help all ages understand the Bible.




CLICK on the link or COPY & PASTE the link in your browser: 
http://www.rejoicemusic.com/Category.aspx?c=342 


In 1954, Dr. Arlin Horton and Beka Horton founded Pensacola Christian Academy. It remains a thriving Christian K-12 school.   God led them to found Pensacola Christian College in 1974.   
 
CLICK on the link or COPY & PASTE the link in your browser: 
http://www.abeka.com/OurFoundation.aspx



 Thanks for stopping by!

Come back often, and invite a friend!

Mary Marcia
America's STORYTELLER
Telling Untold Stories in Photographs, Prose and Public Speaking




   

Tuesday, January 16, 2018

LEARN WHILE YOU EARN

Mary Marcia
America's STORYTELLER
Telling Untold Stories in Photographs, Prose and Public Speaking




Permalink:
https://tellmeastory-marcia.blogspot.com/2018/01/learn-while-you-earn.html


I am grateful to my employers who gave me an opportunity to learn new things while I earned a paycheck.


I learned a lot serving as Community Life Director at *The Fountains at Greenbriar in Independence, Missouri.  The residents had a reputation for being hard to please. The residents of The Fountains, a  senior living center,  went through an average of two activity professionals (community life directors) per year before I was hired. 

My job was to please the residents.  I served as Community Life Director, Transportation Director and Director of Volunteers.   
I managed budgets, planned all daily activities and special events for the community;  supervised staff;  and created and edited the community newsletter.   

I interviewed residents and told their stories in the newsletters.  I used Adobe Pagemaker to create and edit the newsletters.


CLICK on the image to ENLARGE.   COVER PAGE:  The newsletter I designed and created using Adobe Pagemaker.  Copyright 1997 Marcia Norwood


My newsletter for The Fountains evolved to look  more and more like a magazine.  I included a brief message as editor in each publication.  The image (below) of the page inside the cover has a photo of me as a "miniature bride"  at a relative's wedding in 1955.   My mother and father are in the background of the photo.


CLICK on the image to ENLARGE.  EDITOR'S MESSAGE AND CONTENTS PAGE:  The newsletter I designed and created using Adobe Pagemaker.  Copyright 1997 Marcia Norwood

The Fountains offered me  the opportunity to take in-house business classes in Missouri, Oklahoma and California.  Among those classes were an Art Therapy class in Oklahoma, from Dr. Madeline Rugh (University of Oklahoma), and multiple classes on how to manage successful business projects.  I attended a NAAP seminar in San Diego, and visited other Fountains' locations in various states.
 

About NAAP 


Founded by Activity Professionals
for 

Activity Professionals...NAAP is the only national group that
represents activity professionals in geriatric
settings exclusively. NAAP serves as a
catalyst for both professional and personal
growth and has come to be recognized by
government officials as the voice of the
activity profession on national issues
concerning long-term care facilities,
retirement living, assisted living, adult day
services, and senior citizen centers. NAAP
is nationwide in scope with a growing
membership in Canada and Bermuda.
 



CLICK on the link or COPY & PASTE the link in your browser:
 http://www.theactivitydirectorsoffice.com/NAAP.html

Employees of The Fountains were encouraged to think out-of-the-box.  I came up with a breakthrough idea, and suggested  The Fountains corporate office  create a national  magazine for seniors - with current events pertaining to senior issues,  fashions for seniors, stories of residents (like my interviews), and inserts for each local community with their individual calendars and special events listed.  National and local advertising could help with the cost of newsletter production.  It's a brilliant idea, and I don't think anyone does anything like it yet.  AARP's publication doesn't come close to my vision.   

There are thousands of untold stories out there - living in the minds of senior citizens just waiting to be told.  I enlisted a team of local high school journalism students to help me interview residents for our newsletter.   The interaction between the high school students and the residents was beneficial to both. 




I was one of  a team of Fountains' employees who wrote a grant to bring  The EDEN ALTERNATIVE,  to our a chain of  senior living centers.

We became a part of the movement of people transforming long term care facilities into what they should be: human habitats with plants, animals and children. 



CLICK on the link or COPY & PASTE the link in your browser:
http://tellmeastory-marcia.blogspot.com/2013/10/the-eden-alternative_1.html



CLICK on the image to ENLARGE.   COVER PAGE:  The newsletter I designed and created using Adobe Pagemaker.  Copyright 1997 Marcia Norwood

CLICK on the image to ENLARGE.  EDITOR'S MESSAGE AND CONTENTS PAGE:  The newsletter I designed and created using Adobe Pagemaker.  Copyright 1997 Marcia Norwood


Fountain's resident,  Margaret Richardson, was an incredible woman.  It was a JOY to interview her, and write her previously untold story.  No one at The Fountains knew Margaret's  background  until her story was published in our newsletter.  

Margaret served as secretary to eight Kansas City, Missouri, police chiefs.  She worked alongside Clarence Kelly, the police chief during the riots in Kansas City in 1968.



CLICK on the link or COPY & PASTE the link in your browser:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1968_Kansas_City,_Missouri_riot

"While serving as an acting policewoman and secretary to eight Kansas City, Missouri police chiefs - the world came to Margaret Richardson's door.  The list included Clarence Kelly (KCMO Police Chief and FBI Director), Evangelist Billy Graham, Attorney-General Robert Kennedy, President Lyndon Johnson, stage and screen stars Jeanette McDonald, Bert Parks, Giselle McKenzie and Danny Thomas.  The list also included prostitutes, drunks, deviates...and stray children.  The lofty and the lost.  She treated them all the same.   She may be the kindest person you will ever meet."

  

CLICK on the image to ENLARGE.  "NOW  and THEN" - RESIDENT INTERVIEW COLUMN by M. Norwood.  Copyright 1997 Marcia Norwood

 Not all of the residents were as kind as Margaret.

Some residents at The Fountains were notorious for throwing hot rolls at servers if they were displeased with their service.   Residents would push and shove each other to be first in line at meals and events, using their canes and walkers in the quest for privilege and entitlement.

"I'm old.  I'm rich, and I get whatever I want," a  resident from the Fountain's community in La Jolla, California, told me. 




In contrast -  a friend told me about a senior community where retired missionaries live.  They have minimal staff compared to most retirement communities, because they serve each other.
What a beautiful concept:  helping and serving one another.



I want to be like Margaret Richardson, 
who said:
"I was kind to the high ranking, 
and the low ranking,
because I had no ranking.  
I survived everything 
because the LORD put love in my heart."

Margaret's prayer:
"LORD, Let your love flow through me,
that I might be a blessing to others."  


 
 Thanks for stopping by!

Come back often, and invite a friend!








Mary Marcia
America's STORYTELLER
Telling Untold Stories in Photographs, Prose and Public Speaking
`





*David Freshwater, Chairman, founded The Fountains in 1985, and over the next two decades, he developed, owned and operated, for himself, for his investors and for third parties, a wide range of senior housing communities recognized as both innovative and successful. Under David’s leadership and through the efforts of his team, The Fountains grew into one of the nation’s top 25 seniors housing owners and operators.  


David Barnes, President, joined The Fountains in 1989, and ultimately served as Senior Vice President of Operations. Often traveling to Fountains communities to manage onsite programs, Barnes developed the systems, policies and training materials essential for the successful growth of The Fountains. Years later as President of Watermark Retirement Communities, he continues to build upon these models. 


From 1991 through 1997, The Fountains’ portfolio grew from a fractional share of 260 units to 100% ownership of nearly 4,000 units/beds in 14 communities, with reported assets of $220 million, gross revenues of $42 million and a net operating income of nearly $4 million. During this period, The Fountains won numerous awards and accolades, including induction into the Order of Excellence by Contemporary Long Term Care magazine, selection by the American Seniors Housing Association as one of its Case Studies in Success and one of Top Six retirement communities in America by Money.
  

CLICK on the link or COPY & PASTE the link in your browser: